I’ve wanted to do this for a little while now and this week I finally got off my butt and did it. I would like to introduce zoice.com, a new side project / website of mine to poke some fun at Pop Culture and everything surrounding it.

Take a visit and let me know what you think. I’m definitely looking for feedback on how to improve the site. Also, if you happen to have a story idea I would love to hear and steal it from you so drop me note if you do.

Zoice.com

GG Allin on Springer taken from 1991. I found it to be an interesting piece of television. The GG Allin documentary is a must watch for fans of NYC punk rock scene. He was a complete asshole in life but left a hell of a legacy behind him. For more GG catch the Todd Phillips documentary on him called Hated: GG Allin and the Murder Junkies.

Rest in Hell GG.

QUESTION

Will the Senators win the Stanley Cup this year?
How do you feel Brian Murray has done so far the off season?
My friend thinks getting Ruutu means Alfie will end up with a broken leg…
I disagree.

GO SENS GO!!!
Kirk.

ANSWER

Oh Kirk, if there’s one thing that gets me started and pumped up its hockey talk. More specifically Ottawa Senators talk as I am a huge Sens fan and close follower.

Will the Senators win the Stanley Cup this year? I’m going to go with the odds here and say no. 29 of 30 teams in the NHL will not win the Stanley Cup this year and the Senators will most likely be one of the 29. Of course there is never any kind of guarantee in life and/or hockey. The Senators could surprise everyone and surpass all expectations but I’m being realistic here by saying The Ottawa Senators will most likely not win the Stanley Cup in June 2009. One thing for sure however, they will be competitive and have all the right ingredients to be the meanest Ottawa Senators squad to be iced in its modern history.

Bryan Murray is finally putting his tough Shawville stamp on the team, adding super pest Jarkko Ruutu and tough D man Jason Smith to the squad. Combine those boys with veteran super pest Chris Neil (who hopefully will be motivated to play with Ruutu), up and comer Cody Bass and finally saying bye-bye to Wade I don’t check guys in the boards Redden will result in the most hated team in the eastern division. If one of the best scoring lines in the NHL can stay healthy this year and Jason Spezza can learn the meaning of team defense the goals will come and the goals allowed will shrink. Spezza has been the poster child for selfish inflate your numbers play since he’s been in the NHL. Hopefully new coach Hartsburg can explain to him what it takes to be a team player.

The big question mark with the Senators this year is the contract problems with Andrej Meszaros, and whether or not Murray has another move up his sleeve to get another puck moving defenseman. I suspect he does as the rumors floating around indicate. The teaming of Meszaros and Redden last season was horrible; lining him up with a more responsible Jason Smith however should turn his game around. The other thing the Senators will need is steady goal tending, hopefully Gerber can be more consistent and stop his one bad goal a game routine. His timing with allowing bad goals last season was impeccable. That has to stop for the Senators to achieve success this upcoming season.

Of course every hockey fan heard about the idiotic behavior of Ray I don’t have a coke habit Emery last year. Hopefully buying him out will rid the team of the Asbestos everyone in the clubhouse was apparently breathing in. Enjoy Russia Ray, you certainly earned it.

Will the Senators win every game? Nope. Will they be more entertaining than they were last year? You bet. The final four months of last season was like watching a car wreck on the highway. It was unbearable and hopefully lessons were been learned from the nightmare. I can’t wait for the new season to begin, one month and counting until the pre-season.

Praise Alfie our lord and savior.

Have you ever dreamed about having your very own piece of Ikea furniture named after you? I haven’t either, but what the hell. This will easily kill off 3 minutes from your life. Thanks to Kerri for this little discovery.

Hollywood legend Ernest Borgnine who is still rocking at 91 years old shares his secret to a long life. Who knew?

Oasis has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. Not sure why, they just are. I’m really impressed by their new single that just got leaked (Ahum.. right!) on YouTube. Hopefully the rest of their new album will be as good. It looks now like I’ll be picking up some tickets for their upcoming show here in Ottawa.

This video has just added a new entry on my greatest parental fear list.

Ok, so I realize getting a tattoo of a toy robot is ridiculous (that’s what I have) but …. Is this pushing it too far? or a really cool trend we should all follow?

From yesterday’s retro to today’s ridiculous. I have a hard time not laughing while watching this. It’ll be even funnier 10 years from now.

Being a long time Love and Rockets fan it was fun to catch their live set at Lollapalooza last night broadcast live from their website. A little throwback video in case you aren’t familiar with them.

QUESTION

Hey Glenn, I was wondering..what do you think of zombies? You know, the shambling undead. I’m not talking about those fast track runner MFers from the recent zombie film remakes. I’m talking about slow, stupid, moaning groaning flesh eating zombies. They’re a pretty big ‘geek creature’ I mean..It’s not like I’m calling you a geek or anything. Just saying…zombies.
Andrew M.

ANSWER

Hi Andrew,

Thank you for your great question.

I like yourself, have watched many of the zombie films that have overtaken the silver screen these past 10 years or so. I could take it even further back to “Return of the Living Dead” which to this day is still an amazing flick to watch. Brain… BRAIN…

Let’s face it. We aren’t stupid idiots here. Human bodies require functioning brains and both internal and external body parts to function. I’ve never believed that zombies could be real until just recently. I made the mistake of subscribing to a degenerate celebrity website’s RSS feed. The gratuitous bikini shots were fine except one celebrity kept on appearing on my computer’s screen almost daily. Those horrific pictures made me realize that zombies were in fact real.

Andrew, I present to you a real life Zombie. You should be careful Andrew, very careful.

She could be the beginning of the end.

Don’t smoke crack kids, it’ll kill you. And on a more serious note let’s hope Amy Winehouse can get her shit together. It’s fun to poke fun at idiotic celebrities but her situation is bordering on sad, and that’s never fun to watch.

QUESTION

Glenn,

My son and I were watching our VCR tapes of the Tom Green show, The best of and my son insists that your name is not Humplik. I say it is, he says there is no way that is your real name.

If it is your real name, please email me and tell me so I can show him.

Thanks a lot,

I miss your and Tom’s old show….I absolutely loved it.

Lela Robison
Oklahoma City, OK

ANSWER

Hi Lela,

Your son is a big fat liar. My name is indeed Glenn Humplik. I’m not funny enough a human being to come up with a fake name like that. In Hungary the name Humplik translates into the saying “Man of integrity, handsome looks and extreme wealth”. I bet your son is jealous now.

I suggest you take him to your backyard and give him a good spanking. While you are at it he hides his bag of weed in his underwear drawer. He’s been running a side business out of your home while you are away at work. Please inform him that his new part-time job is considered illegal in your country. Things are a little different up here in Canada, our government actively encourages us to smoke weed, that’s why Canadians are such lovely people.

Maybe I’m wrong here but perhaps he is taking on this new distribution position to afford a DVD player. Who the hell uses a VCR anymore besides you guys? Take those tapes and burn them before they offend any more innocent youth.

I came across an article tonight that discussed and displayed album artwork of the past 50 years. Got me thinking what my favorites are. I’d also be interested in hearing what you guys like.

One of my favorites of all time, XTC’s Drum and Wires album.

Of course no weekend is complete without a little techno chicken action.